i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
