girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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