Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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