Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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