In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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