Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This house was built for laser tag.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
