And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize