You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
