Kiss
Puke
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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