My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
