That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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