I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have aggressive nipples.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
