I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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