what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize