i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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