the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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