Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
