she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
