I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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