im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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