what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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