he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
