I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
