how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.