No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
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Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
BRING THE BAGELS
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?