why didn't you poke me back
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.