That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
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I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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