The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
