wakey wakey hands off snakey
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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