We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
