I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
