I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
