Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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