i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
