Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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