Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
