i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
