she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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