I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
