Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
