Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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