Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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