I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
