I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
