I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she looked like the before picture.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ketchup is God's man juice
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
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