I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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