Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
