she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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