Nicole vs. Life
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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