K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need to calm my uterus...
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
