The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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