so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
