I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
