I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
