Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
