He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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