he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
