At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
40s are totally the cure
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
