I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
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Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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