the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
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So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
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4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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