some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
