Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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